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[…] Lesley wrote an interesting post today on Achieving Happiness in Jewish datingHere’s a quick excerptAdam and Eve, first man and woman. How where they “created”, Eve came directly from Adam, his rib. So men have to be reminded that a woman is part of them. Woman should understand this as well. Both though have to remember that even … […]

Let’s face it, people don’t come to me because they are succeeding at online dating. For one reason or another, they are either getting all the wrong people responding to their personal ads, or they just aren’t getting any responses at all.

The more people we help over at ProfileHelper.com (over 5,000 singles so far) the more I see some common trends starting to develop. There are the people who clearly don’t put any thought into how they present themselves on dating sites and then there are the people who put way too much thought into it. That’s where I’d like to focus today.

Yes, you can actually put too much thought into your online dating profile. The results are usually disastrous. Even worse, it causes a snowball effect. When you over think every word and second guess yourself from the beginning, its going to come across as a lack of confidence. When your first profile fails to get you a date, you just go back to it and put even more thought into it. You can actually think yourself to death.

This is how a lot of people burn out on online dating. They feel like they’ve put every bit of themselves into a profile on Match.com , or Yahoo! Personals, or wherever and all they get out of it is the stress and disappointment of failure. To these people I really only have one bit of advice to pass on today. Let it go. Online dating is a great way to meet people, but it’s not worth the ulcer that’s slowly eating away at your stomach. You are not disarming a suitcase nuke. The world’s future does not hinge on you getting this absolutely perfect. The point of a profile isn’t for it to be the best profile in the world. The purpose of a good online dating profile is that it let’s people know just enough about you and what you want that they want to know more.

I’m not saying that online dating help and profile writing services like ProfileHelper are for everyone. I’m saying that when you get to the point where you are over-analyzing every word you write and still not seeing any success, perhaps its time to get an outside perspective. It’s very hard to be objective about yourself. You’re just too close to you. If you aren’t careful, you’ll see just how easy it is to think yourself out of a date.

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